Let’s Talk About Homeschooling – Shall We?

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Based on the content of my blog this year, one might conclude that all I have done is paint, read poetry, cut out little words and commune with the moon. Throw in a couple cases of cava, a few truckloads of bonbons and you might have an accurate picture of my leisurely, color-splattered days. Except none of it would be true.

I started this blog (500 posts ago!!!) to share my story of homeschooling with Waldorf-inspired methods. I loved blogging in those early days. I was earnest, eager and energized. Blogging became an outlet for my writing, a space to share my photographs (Habit: Reflective Friday, how I miss you!) and a place to connect with other homeschoolers. I have always, always tried to show up here with a truthfulness and a transparency that presented an honest picture of what homeschooling looked like at our house.

This began to change about a year ago – but maybe it was even before that. I’m not really sure. Suffice to say, I have not written about homeschooling in a long, long time. I have hinted about my struggles this year, most candidly in this post, but I have not told the half of it. Frankly, I was much too vulnerable to share this story as it was happening. It’s only been in the last few weeks that I realized I am able to put words around my homeschooling breakdown/breakthrough. And it was only yesterday when I re-read this sentence from my previous post that everything became crystal clear: “Letting go of everything I can and delighting in what remains.” Yes. If I had to summarize my inner work from the past year in a dozen words or less . . . well, there you have it.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a Celtic retreat in which we were invited to speak even if we didn’t know what we would say. That invitation captures the spirit of how I am choosing to move forward in this space at the moment. I have a powerful urge to speak about where I currently find myself in relation to homeschooling with Waldorf-inspired methods, however, I have no idea what I’m going to say. Whatever follows, you can be sure of two things: truthfulness and transparency.

** Read the next part of this story here.

25 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Homeschooling – Shall We?

  1. Although you have changed your topic on the blog, you have never changed your voice. :) The move from homeschooling discussion to inner work discussion was very fluid and I think appropriately timed in your journey (or at least from what I can tell from my journey and from my friends’ journeys). I enjoy reading and learning through it! Maybe someday, I will be ready to write on my inner work instead of simply on homeschooling! :)

    • Wow, Sharon. Thanks for that insight and the kindness with which it was said.

      I think it is true – however, I knew I was avoiding talking about homeschooling – even though I had kinda (almost) convinced myself that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Big difference.

      Here’s to the journey! Mine, yours and everyone else’s!!
      xoS

  2. That sentence completely jumped out at me from your last post as well and I realized that that is the theme of my summer. Thank you for consistently supplying the words for my internal thoughts. I, too, am in a place of transition and trying to find my way. I so appreciate this space and your honesty. Truthfulness and transparency….yes, yes, yes! Those words have been coming out of my mouth frequently lately and I know that’s all I need and want in my own journey. Thank you again.

    • So much to say to you, as usual.

      I don’t know why it’s so hard. But it has taken me a year of demons to get to this place. What I began to realize is that whatever guise those demons came under, they all had the same core and made the same accusation: You are inadequate. (I have to tell you, that still stings. Less so now. But not entirely painless.) One day, I finally was brave enough to question the validity of that statement. Is it true? Or is it a story I tell myself? Just being able to ask those questions started to change the tide. It’s only very, very recently that I have been able to bring some Jersey to the demons and say with confidence: “Fuck. That. Shit.” (I promised myself I wouldn’t drop the F-Bomb this early in the conversation, but there you have it. Truth and transparency and all that.)

      And you! You with your gentle request of guest posting helped me get words around all of this. At first I wanted to respond, “Uhh? Don’t you know? I don’t *do* homeschooling blogging anymore.” But I am trying (trying) to listen to my joy and I couldn’t quell the excitement I felt. So I said yes (joyfully) to you. It was only after I hit send, that I realized if I was going to write a guest post on SH about finding my joy, I owed it to my own blog to tell the whole story.

      So thank you.
      I owe you another basket of diamond muffins.
      S

  3. I so love the sensations that this whole conversation creates: a long deep exhale, a dropping of the shoulders, a feeling of long held anxiety coming to the surface and just beginning to evaporate. Thanks for the truth and transparency in advertising – homeschooling as a path to personal enlightenment! Who knew? By the way keep those F bombs coming! What’s cool is once we realize we are enough – at least as I have observed – our kids all of sudden begin to show that they understand that they are enough as well:) Love you to pieces!

    • Well you have heard it all, my dear. The good, the bad, the ugly and more than a few F-bombs.
      There are really no words to say what you have meant to me on this path of discovery. (My apologies to Eric Fairman.)
      Through your friendship I have found expansion, authenticity, depth, truth and laughter. So much effing laughter.
      For that, and for so much more,
      All my love.
      S

    • Love this conversation too! Connecting is what matters most. As imperfect as it is. Showing up and being present as best we can. It’s more than enough.
      Love you both!
      xo

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  5. Love that word delight! And for sure, let go of the rest. You and I share that desire to write as a way of discovery. And I’m so grateful that you’ve come out of your breakdown/breakthrough wanting to keep writing. I think what you’ve been through is similar to what teens go through – this becoming a person is not for the faint of heart! And a huge part of it seems to be letting go of the stories we tell ourselves that no longer serve us. FTS, my friend! I am grateful to be on this journey with you.

    • Did I ever tell you that I was ready to stop blogging? Just delete the whole damn thing and call it a day? Yup. It’s true. Tom pulled me back from the edge.

      And yes, I love that we share that processing through words. And thank the sweet goddess I have found mine again. It has been so long since I have felt inspired in this space in a way that felt true. It feels good to be back.

      xo to you.
      S

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